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Ok, so … iOS games by Cave, purveyor of fine bullet hell shmups.

* *Espgaluda II*: Pretty good first effort for iPhone. Touch controls, like those in Infinity Gene, work quite well for a shmup. That said I find I’m not playing this game very much; it’s just not as appealing as their newer efforts. iPhone mode is OK with the touch to blow away bullets gimmick, but I’m just not hardcore enough to attempt score attacking this thing. 7/10
* *Mushihimesama BUG PANIC*: Music by Michiru Yamane, probably better known amongst the hardcore gaming crowd for Castlevania music. Bullet hell twin-stick shooter, a little tough to control on an iPhone but it’s not so bad. A quick search on Google pulls up various 2ch threads labeling the game as “a shit otaku game no matter how you look at it”. Well, that said, it’s very well programmed and actually pretty fun. Reco’s voice is grating, though. 9/10
* *Dodonpachi Resurrection*: *Fuck yeah*! If I didn’t suck so much at shmups I’d be playing this ALL THE TIME. Unfortunately I suck. The good news is I can at least make it to the 2nd omote-loop, the bad news is I die a horrible death once I reach the 2nd loop. Why is this game so fun? Why are there gigantic humanoid female robots named “Lei-nyan” shooting giant sprays of bullets at me interspersed with massive lasers? I don’t understand. 11/10

I glanced at the Shmups forum briefly and there’s basically a whole load of butthurt arcade gamers complaining about how bad cute-em-ups are, about how the iPhone is some kind of sacrilege to hardcore shmuppers and an insult to international Cave fans. Problem is, they’re wrong. The games are a lot of fun and certainly appeal to the casual crowd, yet they have enough detail packed in such that the hardcore shmupper can strategize and perfect score runs.

All of which means that it must be past midnight because why else would I be writing this kind of bullshit on my old blog?